Well I figured I should start this post by saying hi. This weekend has been a busy one. We had Friday off from school and the kids loved that. I was busy driving kids everywhere. Later that night I went to a jewerly party for a neighbor. It was nice. Then yesterday I was sick. Noah had the stomach bug and gave it to me. I stayed in bed the whole day. Sarah had a cheering competition so her hair had to be done. I couldn't do it and neither could Mike so I called a freind who was happy to let her duaghter come and do it. It came out cute this morning. I will post pictures when I can. Well I guess thats it for now.
How do I say goodbye to my mom. How can I do that and not hurt? Memories keep coming to me and I laugh or I cry mostly I cry. I cry because I didn’t write down that favorite recipe she always made when we came home. I cry because I should have had more patience with her. I cry because I won’t be able to sit and have tea with her. Ever. Never again. I cry for myself. I cry for my brothers. I cry for my children and their children. How do I make this hurt any less than it does? How do I make the tears stop flowing? Is there a way to make them stop? Maybe laughter. Maybe that is the way. Remember the good times. Remember hotdog soup. Remember frying pans knocking someone out. Remember the car rides to grandmas house. Remember the summer trips. Laughing helps but not for long. Family around me will be sure to help. Getting together and celebrating her. That will help. I now know that nothing will help. I think this hurt will last the rest of my life. I don’t want this. I want my mom....
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