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Memories are a tricky little thing

Sometimes things are a little tricky. Memories brought on by an uneasy feeling or the last time you did something. Last time I was at mbs I was looking forward to my visit with Sarah and seeing friends in pa. That trip was cut short by my mothers passing. How can just looking out at the airport bring so many feelings. Each trip is going to hold that memory of leaving just to hurry back. This trip is to help my brother out in New Hampshire. I am glad to be able to help but also scared as to what might happen next. Grandma is in the hospital and I know her time is coming. She is 95. She has lived a wonderful life. She has had her ups and downs like we all do. She really is the strongest woman I know. She survived so much. Being a daughter to a single mom. She was born in 1924 not something that would have been easy for great grandma. She grew up on the streets of New York City. Her step father wasn’t always the nicest person to her. He was a drinker, as grandma would say. She remembered them driving from New York City to St Michaels PA. The place where she was born. She had wonderful memories of that place. I remember when she was visiting me and we talked about relatives and her birth place. She talked of her beloved aunt and her cousin coach. Or junior as she called him. I surprised her by finding him and calling. I spoke to his son and set up a day for grandma and him to meet again. I remember going down the street that had her aunts house. She talked fondly of the porch swing. It seemed like a big house always had baked goods waiting for her. Grandma loves that place. The meeting between them was short but oh so sweet. They talked of their childhood and of special cookie recipes. It was clear to see they saw each other as they were oh so many years ago.
Grandma was always a hard worker. She told me of her first job working at the national biscuit company. She would put cherries on the fruit cakes. She loved that job and the many friends she made there. Her wedding cake was a fruitcake made by friends at work. Maybe that’s why grandma always liked to make her fruitcake every year. Special memories.
Grandma told me stories of her driving to pa more when She was only 12. Not that she wanted to but she didn’t have a choice. Her father had been drinking and she was the sober one. Can you imagine a 12 year old driving on dirt roads. Hmmm I know I couldn’t do it. Especially with no guard rails along mountain drop offs. Nope. I can almost picture grandma as a young girl.
I can remember Sarah’s nineth Birthday party. She had gotten Kit, the American girl doll, I thought it would be neat for Sarah, and me, to get the doll from the era that grandma was born. Grandma gave us articles from magazines and told us how she would cut a models picture out of a magazine and cut out newspaper clothes so she would have paper dolls. She told us of when the men would come and tar the streets, she would grab some and chew as gum. (That sounds disgusting but it was a memory for grandma). She would tell us if the tar beaches. That’s where she would play. Roof tops of the apartment buildings. She gave me the idea of getting an empty spool and string and making a sideways yo-yo. When we made them for Sarah’s party everyone loved them. It kept them busy for hours. 
Grandma would love to come to our house for a week or two. We would always go peach picking or apple picking. Then we would spend hours baking and creating lots of delicious treats. Even making her famous pinwheels. They are famous in our family. Pinwheels meant family and holidays and traditions to me. Sounds kind of funny but grandmas house was the one house that was constant in my life. I am 51 years old and still feel like it is home. I remember the white porch that was on the side of the house. As kids we weren’t allowed to use that way into the house. Only rarely did we use that way in. I remember there was a loose board and we had to be careful not to step on it. I remember when they tore that down and built the new bigger deck. I remember them tearing it down but I didn’t help. We played out back. Grandma had a game that we loved to play out back. Tether ball. A pole had a tennis ball on a string attached to it and you and an opponent had a racket and tried to either get the ball to the top or to the bottom , which ever side you were on. That game kept us entertained for hours. Of course grandmas house as a kid wasn’t all that fun. Until they got the pool. That pool was a lot of fun. Except cleaning it. Yuck. But it was fun when it was clean. I remember one summer we were at grandmas out back in the pool and grandma asked us if we wanted grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch. We all said yes of course. Grandmas idea of grilled cheese sandwiches were different thank ours. Grandma came to the back window and passed our sandwiches to us (which was really cool to me. ) it was a normal grilled cheese you would expect to get our idea of a grilled cheese was a piece of bread layed flat with a piece of cheese on top. You put it under the broiler for a few minutes until the cheese melts and creates a bubble. Growing up we didn’t have much but we didn’t know that. That was just how we had grilled cheese sandwiches.
Grandma is my person. She gets me. She understands me. She loved me when I thought no one did. She will always bring a smile to my face. She is a no nonsense taker person. She was smart and loved the lord. She might not have gone to church regularly in her later years but she spoke to him daily. He brought her through so much and I for one am glad.  She told me of getting really sick as a young girl.  She had washed her hair by herself and so wanted to show her mom.  She kept running to the front stoop of the apartment building she lived in looking for her mom.  It was snowing and grandma never put her coat on she her hair froze to her head.  She had gotten so sick, she lost her hearing.  She watched her mothers lips move and thought her mom was playing a game.  She didn't understand why she couldn't hear her.  They got a doctor and grandma was very lucky, she got better.   Grandma also told me of the time she was sent to camp in the summer.  It was near west point.  Grandma had gotten very bad abdominal pain and was taken to west point.  She had to have her appendix out.  She told me she was the first girl at West Point.  All the fellas came to visit her so she didn't feel so alone.  Grandma definitely lived an interesting life.

When God calls her home I will be heart broken. I know she will finally be at peace and can run and walk again. I get it.  My heart won't.  My head knows, but I am selfish and want her here forever. I love you Grandma.  You are and always will be a bright light in my life.



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