I have to figure out how to put a video on here. Noah had a solo in the children's choir today. It was his first one by himself. He sang a few weeks ago with his sister and another friend but today was all him. He was very nervous. He was forgetting the words when he practiced this morning. When he got up in front of everyone he was a pro! I videoed it so as soon as I can I will put it on here. I am very proud of him. It took alot of guts to go in front of 2 services and sing! He was very good and liked the fact that people he didn't know came up to him and told him he was very good. I can tell you he was smiling from ear to ear and didn't stop until 4 pm today. He didn't even want to sing until this year. All last year he kept telling me that singing was not for him! Now I can't get him to stop! He even sings at the dinner table and we have to remind him to stop singing! Yes he is just like me when I was his age. Well check back later for the video. Hopefully I will figure it out tomorrow.
How do I say goodbye to my mom. How can I do that and not hurt? Memories keep coming to me and I laugh or I cry mostly I cry. I cry because I didn’t write down that favorite recipe she always made when we came home. I cry because I should have had more patience with her. I cry because I won’t be able to sit and have tea with her. Ever. Never again. I cry for myself. I cry for my brothers. I cry for my children and their children. How do I make this hurt any less than it does? How do I make the tears stop flowing? Is there a way to make them stop? Maybe laughter. Maybe that is the way. Remember the good times. Remember hotdog soup. Remember frying pans knocking someone out. Remember the car rides to grandmas house. Remember the summer trips. Laughing helps but not for long. Family around me will be sure to help. Getting together and celebrating her. That will help. I now know that nothing will help. I think this hurt will last the rest of my life. I don’t want this. I want my mom....
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