Well Sarah got ot wear her cheer uniform to school today. She was excited! I have to say she looks cute in it. I think so anyway, I guess I am bias though. Anyway, she got dressed this morning and did her hair just right. I think the child has just started becoming a beautiful young lady. If you look close at her right hand you can see she has a splint on her finger. Sarah was asked (yesterday)to feed Demo and let him out. She did although she slammed her finger in the door as she was closing it. She screamed and came upstairs crying. I took her to the Dr and got it checked out. Her finger is badly bruised said the Dr. She is not allowed to do gym or sports until Tuesday. She did go to cheer practice because she didn't want the coaches to think she didn't want to cheer. She stayed away from the group but did the cheers with them. The Dr said he didn't want anyone hitting her finger by accident. Sarah said everyone kept away from her. She is making new friends with the girls on the squad. She really likes them all. I have to laugh at her sometimes with the stories I hear. I am glad she feels like she is fitting in. Take care and I will write again soon.
How do I say goodbye to my mom. How can I do that and not hurt? Memories keep coming to me and I laugh or I cry mostly I cry. I cry because I didn’t write down that favorite recipe she always made when we came home. I cry because I should have had more patience with her. I cry because I won’t be able to sit and have tea with her. Ever. Never again. I cry for myself. I cry for my brothers. I cry for my children and their children. How do I make this hurt any less than it does? How do I make the tears stop flowing? Is there a way to make them stop? Maybe laughter. Maybe that is the way. Remember the good times. Remember hotdog soup. Remember frying pans knocking someone out. Remember the car rides to grandmas house. Remember the summer trips. Laughing helps but not for long. Family around me will be sure to help. Getting together and celebrating her. That will help. I now know that nothing will help. I think this hurt will last the rest of my life. I don’t want this. I want my mom....
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