2, 4, 6, 8, what can we break!

Well Sarah got ot wear her cheer uniform to school today. She was excited! I have to say she looks cute in it. I think so anyway, I guess I am bias though. Anyway, she got dressed this morning and did her hair just right. I think the child has just started becoming a beautiful young lady. If you look close at her right hand you can see she has a splint on her finger. Sarah was asked (yesterday)to feed Demo and let him out. She did although she slammed her finger in the door as she was closing it. She screamed and came upstairs crying. I took her to the Dr and got it checked out. Her finger is badly bruised said the Dr. She is not allowed to do gym or sports until Tuesday. She did go to cheer practice because she didn't want the coaches to think she didn't want to cheer. She stayed away from the group but did the cheers with them. The Dr said he didn't want anyone hitting her finger by accident. Sarah said everyone kept away from her. She is making new friends with the girls on the squad. She really likes them all. I have to laugh at her sometimes with the stories I hear. I am glad she feels like she is fitting in. Take care and I will write again soon.

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Letters from the Heart

How do I say goodbye to my mom. How can I do that and not hurt? Memories keep coming to me and I laugh or I cry mostly I cry. I cry because I didn’t write down that favorite recipe she always made when we came home. I cry because I should have had more patience with her. I cry because I won’t be able to sit and have tea with her. Ever. Never again. I cry for myself. I cry for my brothers. I cry for my children and their children. How do I make this hurt any less than it does? How do I make the tears stop flowing? Is there a way to make them stop? Maybe laughter. Maybe that is the way. Remember the good times. Remember hotdog soup. Remember frying pans knocking someone out. Remember the car rides to grandmas house. Remember the summer trips. Laughing helps but not for long. Family around me will be sure to help. Getting together and celebrating her. That will help. I now know that nothing will help. I think this hurt will last the rest of my life. I don’t want this. I want my mom....

Letters from Mom

I was starting a new project today and came across a plastic filing cabinet that was not unpacked. I had seen it for a while now but didn't really think much of it. I am not sure what got me to unpack it today. The first thing I did was cut the wrapping off and on the top of it was a letter. I didn't think much of it until I saw the handwriting. It was my moms'. It was a letter written to me dated May 20, 2002. I don't remember the letter and have no clue what was going on in my life at that time. I don't remember the conversation Mom was talking about in the letter. I can say that I am glad I held onto the letter. To be honest I tend to hold on the all letters written to me. I have a bunch from Mike and Grandma too. I am sure I have more from others as well. Its funny how you don't think to keep things for later years. I am glad I am sentimental. So in this letter, Mom tells me she is proud of me. Right before I le...

it all started with gummy worms.

February 2, 2019 another day that will be hard for me to forget. My mother, went home to be with her Lord and Savior. 4:00 in the afternoon. It has only been 5 months but it seems like yesterday. Why when sad, or crappy things happen do we tend to remember everything. Mom was in rehab for her leg. She fell down the basement steps on Ryan’s Birthday. Just the last two steps. She misjudged and thought she was on the last step but actually had 2 more to walk down. She broke her leg. Her tibia was split by her femur. We called 911 and had her taken to the hospital via ambulance. Mom remembered the women who arrived to take her to the hospital. She remembered the firemen that helped to carry her upstairs to the waiting in gurney. She remembered the emergency room. And the doctors she met there. She was transferred to the third floor to await surgery to fix the leg. She didn’t really remember that. She remembered the people who helped her but not being on the floor. She didn’t...

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